Pump Those Brakes

What crazy times are these? I mistakenly thought I was settling into my new normal.  For a hot minute, I was an empty-nester...although I had no idea what to do with that.  Although the "baby bird" was away at college, my mom was still sick which translated into being at the nursing home 5 days out of 7, and life as husband and wife was more like ships passing each other in the night.  My mom passed away, but there was much to do in the time that followed. When the immediate craziness settled, John and I looked at each other one night in the kitchen, and he said, "What now?"  I have been determined to let God be in charge of this one...grieving in the amounts I could handle, not judging myself or others for how grief looked on the outside.  After a while, the storm settled and there was a sense of settling in.

I was SO excited to go to Mom's Day Weekend for the sorority (OUR sorority).  It happened to fall on my spring break (not hers, of course) so I decided to stay a few days.  Away from home, I knew I wouldn't be "burdened" by daily tasks all around me that "had to be done" (the quotes will become more clear in a little bit).  I told her the day I was leaving that I had a dream that the reason I had stayed there so long was that I was going to have to bring her home.  But, with no real evidence to support it, I drove home according to plan.  The next day, she got the email that the school was going online for the remainder of the semester.  So, 36 hours after leaving, I was back in my car going to get her and as much of her stuff as we could.  

So, here's the new normal we're still trying to figure out.  What keeps hitting me in the head is the thought to not waste what God is giving us.  NO, I do not think God caused the coronavirus...it's just one of many consequences of living in this world.  But, I DO believe He works all things for our good and His glory.  So what is He up to?  We live in a world of break-neck speed.  The "to-do" list that NEVER gets done.  This looks like me getting away from the tasks of just being at home because it has taken on its own urgency by opting to stay in a hotel 5 hours away to escape its demands for just a while without the guilt (see "  " above).  

A while ago, in a class I was taking, we read excerpts from Tyranny of the Urgent.  It has been weighing on me these past few days.  It's not a vacation for teachers despite what anyone might mistakenly think.  So, I planned my hours...but built in the time to SLOW THE HECK DOWN...to stop the tyranny of the urgent and remember the important...love, relationships, laughter, togetherness, quiet, rest... so many, many things the "urgent" has pushed aside.  My schedule now includes coloring, playing games with my daughter, naps, eating together,  quiet, reading, praying.  I feel like I lost me in the race.  I love Jesus more than any human being (and that took time and some painful experiences to get there).  Even in that deep-seated love, my gaze left Him and landed on the to-do's...not even to please Him, but to "get the things done".  



Jumbled Priorities?
When we stop long enough to think about it, we realize that our dilemma goes deeper than shortage of time; it is basically a problem of priorities. Hard work doesn't hurt us. We all know what it is to go full speed for long hours, totally involved in an important task. The resulting weariness is matched by a sense of achievement and joy. Not hard work, but doubt and misgiving produce anxiety as we review a month or a year and become oppressed by the pile of unfinished tasks. We sense uneasily our failure to do what was really important. The winds of other people's demands, and our own inner compulsions, have driven us onto a reef of frustration. We confess, quite apart from our sins, "We have done those things which we ought not to have done, and we have left undone those things which we ought to have done." An experienced factory manager once said to me, "Your greatest danger is letting the urgent things crowd out the important." He didn't realize how hard his advice hit. It has often returned to haunt and rebuke me by raising the critical problem of priorities. We live in constant tension between the urgent and the important. The problem is that many important tasks need not be done today, or even this week. Extra hours of prayer and Bible study, a visit to an elderly friend, reading an important book: these activities can usually wait a while longer. But often urgent, though less important, tasks call for immediate response--endless demands pressure every waking hour. A person's home is no longer a castle, a private place away from urgent tasks. The telephone breaches its walls with incessant demands. The appeal of these demands seems irresistible, and they devour our energy. But in the light of eternity their momentary prominence fades. With a sense of loss we recall the important tasks that have been shunted aside. We realize that we've become slaves to the tyranny of the urgent. Is there any escape from this pattern of living? ...

Wait for Instructions 
What was the secret of Jesus' ministry? We discover a clue in Mark's report of what happened after the very busy day of teaching and healing which we first noted. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed" (Mk 1:35). He prayerfully waited for his Father's instructions. Jesus had no divinely drawn blueprint or schedule; he discerned the Father's will day by day in a life of prayer. Because of this he was able to resist the urgent demands of others and do what was really important for his mission. When Simon and his companions looked for Jesus and finally found him, they exclaimed, "Everyone is looking for you!" (v.37). The disciples had become embarrassed over their leader's delay. Didn't Jesus realize that back at the house people who had not yet been healed were crowding around the door asking for him? Jesus' answer couldn't have been more shocking. "Let us go somewhere else-to the nearby villages-so I can preach there also. That is why I have come" (v.38). He then turned away from the waiting crowd and traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in the synagogues and driving out demons. On another occasion Jesus faced a similar difficult choice between two worthwhile tasks. In the middle of a fruitful ministry across the Jordan where John the Baptist had preached, Jesus received an urgent message from his close friends Mary and Martha concerning their brother Lazarus: "Lord, the one you love is sick" (Jn 11:3). John records the Lord's paradoxical response: "Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days" (vv. 5-6). The urgent need was to prevent the death of the beloved brother. But the important thing from God's point of view was to raise Lazarus from the dead. So he was allowed to die and his sisters to grieve. Then Jesus traveled to Bethany and also wept with the family He raised Lazarus, having proclaimed: "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies" 3 (v.25). In both of these situations Jesus' yes to the Father's purpose meant saying no to urgent demands of human need. For the "man of sorrows, . . . familiar with suffering" (Is 53:3), those frequent decisions must have been extremely painful. We may wonder why our Lord's ministry was so short, why it could not have lasted another five or ten years, why so many wretched sufferers were left in their misery. Since Scripture gives no answer to these questions, we must leave them within the mystery of God's purposes. But we do know that Jesus' prayerful waiting for the Father's instruction freed him from the tyranny of the urgent. It gave him a sense of direction, set a steady pace and at the end of his earthly ministry gave him the satisfaction that he had completed the work God had assigned him. ...

 ~Charles E. Hummel
   Tyranny of the Urgent


So, I'm pumping the brakes.  If I work with you, 1 Corinthians 10:31 has been and always will be my motto...but while work is urgent, relationships are more important.  I want to be satisfied with the work God has assigned to me.  I want Him to know I didn't waste this isolation chasing the urgent and leaving behind the important.  Somewhere in there, I want to find the me that was so desperately in love with Jesus that I didn't really see anything else.  I liked her.  I hope we meet again.