Edward was angry and did not see his part in any of it. It was a scary time because of his anger toward John and wondering how we were going to live this way. I knew more fights would come. I know my son. He holds on to his grudges. Still does. I talked a lot with him trying to get him to see the whole picture. He was angry and was not going to let it go. I was still confused myself. I think John could have avoided the fight. The men in our community group said it would have gone down the same way in their house. There is stuff about men that I don't know I will ever understand. Kind of like the thing out there about showing your dog who is boss by biting him on the ear, or staring down your cat without looking away. They tried to explain that John had to defend himself and had to show that he was the authority in the house. I get it some, but part of me does not because it is an adult and a child not two adults. But I was still looking at Edward as a child not the man-child he was.
I told Edward that if he could not control his anger that he needed to leave. It was the week before spring break...so crazy. Spring break his senior year. Kind of a crappy was to remember your senior year...going to jail, getting kicked out of your house. I told him he could come back when he could control his anger and live under our rules...which meant no drugs.
He stayed with one friend's family until spring break. Then he went on spring break with another friend (already planned). When he got back, he stayed with that friend's family. Sofa surfing. I can't really imagine what it felt like for him.
There were a couple times when he called and asked to sleep here, but the answer was no. He didn't want to change anything, just wanted a place to lay his head. Worst feeling ever. We put water, food and clothes out in his truck for him and said he could sleep out there. While the house was quiet without his loud (horrid) music, there's just that underlying worry on a lot of levels...for his safety, and ours.
Finally he called and asked if he could move back in. He said he would live by our rules.
