Literally this is a summer break...from Ally (she was gone for the summer!), from drinking, from school and its stressors. Sydney was with her dad for 3 weeks and went to Colorado with the Callaghan as well as with our family for 5 weeks. With her in our sights or our trusted friend's sight, she seemed to doing well. Slowly, some trust built back up and it seemed as though these were the growing pains of freshmen year in high school, figuring out how to handle new freedoms and experiencing the consequences of her behavior.
I had enjoyed the girls being with their dad and the quiet times with just me and God and digging into His Word. I had been feeling pulled by God to dig deep and never was sure of the why or what He wanted but tried to be obedient. And of course, being in Colorado always brings me closer to God. I don't know how anyone can go to Colorado and experience the mountains, sunsets, clouds, rain...and deny the existence of God. I signed John and I up for equipping classes and myself up for an Equipped Disciple class at church. I cannot explain in words what that pull feels like. A bug in your head, an urge in your heart that you HAVE to do something but don't know why, a supernatural urge that BURNS. I shared that with people both in "Sharing Your Faith" and "Equipped Disciple I" that the reason I was there was that I felt like the Holy Spirit had been kicking me in the behind and I was just trying to be obedient. I left EDI and on my way home I remember the thought, "He is really going to use me for something or I am about to get hit."
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
When the bottom falls out
She had been hanging around Ally again. And in my ignorance I believe that Ally has changed as she has told me. About 6 months ago they pulled the typical teenage, "I'm sleeping over at her house." trick. Only they get caught. They walk in the house at 5:30 am and come up with the LAMEST reason that they got up early and went to go get coffee....yeah, right?! This is the kid that needs a nuclear explosion under her head to get up for school every morning and this morning little miss sunshine is up before the sun. Yeah, totally busted.
Only the lies were just beginning to be uncovered. Her friend texted one day that she needed to talk to me about Sydney. Our families have known each other for a long time and Sydney is like her sister. Truly...her mom would talk to Sydney as if she were her own child as I would talk to her. I will never forget it. I was getting my hair high lighted and was waiting while Megan drops the bomb about Sydney's drinking. We confront Sydney about it and talk and forbid her from hanging out with Ally any more. Thinking it's a teenage phase of experimentation we think we have controlled what we thought was a few isolated incidents. No...more bombs were to come. The next day, my son calls me. I have both girls with me in the car taking my youngest over to a friend's for a sleepover. He heard a rumor about his sister at school that day...that she was no longer a virgin. I calmly hang up and drop Ashley off. I turn to Sydney thinking we are on a this new honesty level so I calmly ask her if I asked her a question if she would answer me honestly. I asked her if she was still a virgin. Her answer was an arrow in my heart. She didn't know. WHAT?! More aftershocks on the way...she was so drunk, she passed out and can't remember if she had sex or not. Geez, my daughter not only gave away something precious but can't even remember if she did it or not.
Sunday, at church, we go to one of the elders at our church and ask him to pray over her. He coached her when she was 8 on his basketball team and has a daughter her age as well. She cried, we prayed and I naively thought this horrible period would be behind us. This is the girl I would write to her teachers at the beginning of the year that I wanted to be like when I grew up. Her faith was awesome. All the sudden I see a kid I do not know in front of me.
Only the lies were just beginning to be uncovered. Her friend texted one day that she needed to talk to me about Sydney. Our families have known each other for a long time and Sydney is like her sister. Truly...her mom would talk to Sydney as if she were her own child as I would talk to her. I will never forget it. I was getting my hair high lighted and was waiting while Megan drops the bomb about Sydney's drinking. We confront Sydney about it and talk and forbid her from hanging out with Ally any more. Thinking it's a teenage phase of experimentation we think we have controlled what we thought was a few isolated incidents. No...more bombs were to come. The next day, my son calls me. I have both girls with me in the car taking my youngest over to a friend's for a sleepover. He heard a rumor about his sister at school that day...that she was no longer a virgin. I calmly hang up and drop Ashley off. I turn to Sydney thinking we are on a this new honesty level so I calmly ask her if I asked her a question if she would answer me honestly. I asked her if she was still a virgin. Her answer was an arrow in my heart. She didn't know. WHAT?! More aftershocks on the way...she was so drunk, she passed out and can't remember if she had sex or not. Geez, my daughter not only gave away something precious but can't even remember if she did it or not.
Sunday, at church, we go to one of the elders at our church and ask him to pray over her. He coached her when she was 8 on his basketball team and has a daughter her age as well. She cried, we prayed and I naively thought this horrible period would be behind us. This is the girl I would write to her teachers at the beginning of the year that I wanted to be like when I grew up. Her faith was awesome. All the sudden I see a kid I do not know in front of me.
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