This morning at 12:15 am, my mom took her last breath here on earth. I count myself blessed that my daughters and I were there with the one who was there when I took my first breath. We are truly #steelmagnolias (this movie reference is probably lost on all males and anyone under 40). Here’s what I know. Saturday I shared with the Saturday team what I had been reading in my Bible. It has not been a good year, but God is ever good and faithful.
In Luke, as Jesus prepared for His own death, He told Peter, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22: 31-32).
Later, in Hebrews, I read about Jesus being a priest in the order of Melchizedek.
Hebrews 6:19-20a, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf, “ and our need for a high priest in Hebrews 7:18-19, 21b-22, 24-26, “The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God…’The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind: “You are a priest forever.”’ Because of this oath, Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant….but because Jesus lives forever, He has a permanent priesthood. Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need-one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted about the heavens.”
What a comfort to know I have a high priest interceding to His Father for me! It is my better hope and it is the best covenant. It allows me to approach Him with confidence and it helps me to TRUST. This is my struggle. I struggle better with it these days as God peeled my onion, through CR, showing me my anger and unforgiveness was really my lack of trust in Him (that HURT). My God, in His perfect timing, gave me His promise again and prompted me to share it not more than 6 hours before I would get the call that my mom’s condition had changed.
And there are no such things as coincidences (it’s one of Gibbs’ NCIS rules …don’t judge). On Dec. 16 on my way to work, I was t-boned crossing Northwest Highway to get on the Tollway. I spun and ended up going backward down the entrance ramp. God protected me, yes, but He also sent me a CLEAR message that our family trip to Colorado to take the kids to see snow (weird when you grow up a Missourian that you actually have to teach your Texan kids this) was not to be. This is the second time I had a car “taken out” on my way to Colorado this year (this summer my car died in Ardmore, OK on the side of the road, where I purchased said new car that was t-boned). I didn’t know why this accident happened but was pretty adamant that God did not want us to go to Colorado. Of course not, we would have been on the road trying frantically to make our way back home to be with my mom…that would not do.
So in the waiting, I remembered the faithfulness of God preparing me for such a moment as this (thank you, Esther). And it took away the sting.
Many of you know the salvation of my mom was always a question mark for me (another LONG conversation). But also in the waiting, I talked with the hospice nurse, “Do you have a faith?” (Thanks JP for the convo starter lay-up) and shared with her my fears. She, a woman of faith, left the room so I could have this crucial conversation with my mom and just pray “the prayer” over her after sharing the gospel with her (this was not the first time…just the first time I had a ‘captive’ audience without earthly push-back). It was another gift to me. And I will take it to my grave that after that moment, her countenance changed, her breathing, her peace. I will not know the status of her salvation on this side of Heaven. And as I tried to sleep tonight, I just told God how much I TRUSTED Him either way. The outcome was His and I was grateful that He was my comforter, provider, protector; and that when I did get to see Him, I knew the things of this earth were not going to matter anyway.
Can’t say 2019 was my favorite year to answer Jermaine’s question. I can say, I’m glad to see it go. But, oh, how sweet my Savior that He was praying and interceding me through all this. Where would I go, but YOU? So, tag…I’m “it”…my turn to turn back and strengthen my brothers (Luke 22:32)
