If you hang at Watermark, you are going to hear and answer this question at least once. And while any one definition might be able to encapsulate it, a picture is worth a thousand words.
We decided to take away things from Edward, his speakers and ability to listen to music that filled him with nothing positive as well as his guitar for the time being. Edward took it up a notch and started pulling everything about of his room. I wasn't going to argue, he needed to be brought down. We were also taking away his key. In his anger he opened his side door and threw the key into the back yard. I was trying to talk with Edward...talk him through his rage. Edward does not hear rationale...really, ever but especially when things are not going his way. John stood in the doorway with an arm on each side of the door frame. He told Edward to go get the key. Edward ducked under his arm and turned and struck John. What happened next was probably the worst 2 hours of my life. Edward and John were fighting. Momma bear, that animal instinct, also kicked in and I slapped John trying to get him to stop. Ashley was screaming trying to get into it as well to make it stop. Sydney and Ashley went upstairs and were crying and calling their dad. Edward's screaming and crying. John had a cut on his head and called the police. I go upstairs and am trying to calm Ashley and Sydney down. I am talking to their dad on the phone trying to keep him away because he would only make matters WAY WORSE. My worst nightmare. One reason that this has taken me years to write. I don't want to relive it. Even now typing it, I hate it. If I could erase hours from my life, I would erase these.
The police were at our house. Because it was a domestic call and because Edward hit John first, Edward was arrested. Outside our house, actually outside our neighbor's house. Once again, I am embarrassed. But, I am more angry, scared, worried and confused.
Here's what community looks like. Somewhere during this time, John texted 911 to our community group. An hour later, they were at our house. 4 couples, with kids in tow. Men were out back talking to John. Women were inside talking to me. John and I were not talking to each other. Sydney left with a friend because she didn't want to be in the house with John. In the hours that ensued there was a lot of talking with our group in all forms trying to hash through what happened and our parts in it. I learned that when I hit John, I showed I was taking Edward's side and discounting him and his authority. Evening came and no one in our community left. They ate dinner with us and stayed with us.
We got a phone call from the UP Police. They said Edward was in custody awaiting to go before a judge and we had two choices afterwards because UP is not really a jail. We could bail him out or he would be transferred down to Lew Sterritt. At this point, we thought that Edward could not handle Lew Sterritt.
John and I drove down to bail bonds and John put forward the money to bail him out. It was a silent ride there and back, both of us hurt, both of us angry (but both of us still in love...just not in like at that moment).
Our community group was still at our house when we got back. We had to wait for the bail bonds people to go back to let the "system" know that we had paid his bond so he would not be transferred. So, we waited...and THEY waited with us. At this point it has gotten late and the kids all have school the next day. Kids are crashed in beds everywhere in the house, adults are sleeping on the couches and on the floor, but none of them were leaving. Around 3:00 am we got the call that we could go pick get Edward from the UP Police station. As a group, we walked from our house to the police station together to show Edward that we were all behind him. As a group, we all walked back with him to our house.
What does community look like??? It looks like I just described... UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
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