I am, immediately, on the computer asking my community of women in my life to pray for Edward. I make it through the day staying in touch with my husband, who has taken the day off to stay with Edward, doing a lot of praying on my own...pleading, begging, angry at Edward, shocked, probably even embarrassed that I have a son that smokes pot...seeing it as a reflection on me. You name it, I probably felt it.
We went in and talked with Mrs. Bowers and the SRO who brought Edward in. He ended up getting a ticket for only smoking the cigarette as he was a minor, 16 at the time. The SRO said the reason he only gave him a ticket for that was because he was so polite. Thanks?!? Not sure how to take that, but I guess grateful that he will only have this hurdle. He will be in their alternative education placement for 30 days with time out for good behavior. We ask that he serve the whole 30 days so he will learn a lesson. We are to take a drug awareness program offered through our Y with Edward as part of his condition for "release" as well. We also, through the recommendation of the sweet ladies at the CARE program at our Y, take parenting classes. I am again embarrassed that I come before women that I have known for 13 years. See, I worked full-time before going back to teaching as the Childcare Coordinator at the Y. These women have seen and known Edward since he was 2. In the back of my mind, I think they must think that I am some horrible parent to be in their office, eating humble pie, needing education for teenagers on drugs, sad and broken.
Our lives are temporarily upside down juggling our parenting classes, drug education classes and the two other kids under our charge. We hope Edward is learning from this experience and we learn along the way as Alanon-ish programs teach, that their behavior choices belong to them. Ironically, Edward has been going to alanon because his father, my ex-husband, we believe was an alcoholic. So the effectiveness of these new education classes may be in question, but we follow the rules. He has to appear before the judge to answer for his ticket. This was the best lesson for him yet. While we stood behind him, he was on his own to answer for his behavior. Little did he realize that he was also on his own to pay for it. The judge ordered him to write the surgeon general's warning, on every cigarette package, 100 times, take an additional tobacco education class and pay a fine. When he went to the window to "check out", he turned around to us for money and we just stood there shrugging our shoulders. He had to eat his own humble pie and tell them he didn't have the money and go before the judge and ask what he needed to do. It was priceless...and the suggestion of my husband whose wisdom in these situations far outweighs mine that is heavily emotionally laden. He had to find a way to earn the money to pay his fine. His choice, his consequences.
He held up his end. He paid his fine, went through classes, AEP at school and I think learned he is capable and responsible for his choices and the consequences that accompany them. Truly, I think he did learn this...but like so many of us, he was going to push the limits and test and learns this lesson SLOWLY.
I think the storm has passed over us. We have struggled with both teenagers now. Surely, it is time for the locusts to restore what has been eaten (Joel 2:25)
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